| Single Unit, Part One: A King Bed For One |

I woke up this morning with the idea to write a short something about how amazing Carole Pope was last night. However, I shall wait until the weekend is over to suck Miss Pope's non-existent dick. Except to say this, a) She was amazing, and b) She was really fucking amazing. If you didn't get chance to come to the Old Nick last night, I suggest you get there early today.

Instead, I got up today wanting to share how thoroughly happy I am to be single. Wait. No. That's not true. Not single, just single from my last girlfriend. For the purpose of this post, we shall call her "Godzilla". No, no ... "Mothra". We'll cal her "Mothra".

And thus starts a multi-part adventure into a failed relationship where I will bash not only my ex, but myself as well (A little bit).

| Single Unit |
Part One
|A King Bed For One |

I realized how nice it was to wake up and not role over on top of some Amazonian wench who sleeps engrossed in a blanket of her own wings, and will spend most of the day (if I'm unlucky enough to have it off), trying to suck my blood.

I liken her soul-sucking abilities to that of a Dementor, the famously merciless guards of Azkaban prison. Many times I too, to paraphrase Ron Weasly, felt like I would never feel joy again.

There's a wonderful joy in stretching out in your own bed. Being able to take up as much room as possible. I've slept far better this way, ie. NOT cowering in a corner. And I am thankful I have the chance to now.

That's not to say that company isn't welcome. It just has to be the right company.

____

As I must depart for work, I emplore you to stay tuned for the continuation of Part One. Which I will get around just as soon as I can.

For now, I drag my single, slightly hungover yet very happy ass towards the subway. Which is also an experience I would sometimes like to have alone. Subway car for one? Yes, please.

____

See you tomorrow, my babies.

x's and o's